yesterday the sun shone bright; today, all is shrouded by fog. every familiarity is transmuted far beyond recognition. as my memories gently slip away, and my dreams are disfigured, and my thoughts become muted, my identity succumbs to a thousand questions. i thought i knew the time, but only broken clocks tick on. books i've read escape my library and my favourite songs don't sound the same. why? broken gears infest my mind's machinery, all i loved doing now breaking down. i'm unravelling because everything is changing, but why?
determination has seeped out from my weary frame, departed has the resolution of my spirit. my arms too weak to tug at my shackles, my legs too weary to hold my stance. these chains that are etched deep into my memory, entwine and tighten still. mountain peaks crest on the horizon, and if not a few dozen hands, and the choir of judegement preventing my progression, perhaps i'd stand triumphant, rather than hobble around, broken by the fetters the world has bound upon me.
enveloped by darkness, my eyelids give in. encompassed by uncertainty, my mind races on. temporarily, nothing exists. my consciousness plunges into an abyss, where a slight ray of light follows me, and fear treads on my heels. suddenly, everything materialises! friends, family, foes, lovers, highs, lows, and me. but an infinite void remains, and all I know is inconsequential. i nonetheless yearn to savour the view, however before long, i am vanished, and slowly, so is everything i know. once again, only the void remains.
a wind stirs, lifting my sails adrift, directionlessly. it softens, a gentle breeze whispers to me, though too faintly to be heard. a harsh light follows me through a maze of prisms. stay close, for when wandering in the depths of my mind, we'll become colours too.
i've risen from the same bed every day. the same view, the same morning breeze and the same chirps have all graced me without fail. once, not so long ago, stood a tower i thought timeless. dwarfing my wearied self, wisdom held it firm, while divinty breathed vitality into already soaring spires. yet as my bed grows more creaky, and i, older, it's started to degenerate. marvellous columns yield to Father Time, and shattered glass is all that remains of beautiful stained windows. now i crumble too. i wonder, was it naivety? was i deluded? did the tower ever command my unfaltering reverence? in these ruins of disillusionment i find truths existing solely in my mind.
tossed by potent winds, buffeted by powerful waves, a beautiful horizon beckons; i can't reach it alone. dozing off for brief respite, yet the darkness unnerves me too. where is my destiny? i'm without eyes; i need you to hold my hand. negligence consumes, i'm panicking in my room, battling echoes of indecision, echoes of gloom, alone. montony devours my days, amalgamates them into a stream of conciousness, a river of despair. i yearn for a protector; i need you to hold my hand.
emptiness fills me. companionship is provided only by collosal, metallic towers standing sentinel. a humid air suffocates slowly, distoring the very fabric of my vision. i'm stuck here. and if i remain any longer, i will be covered, entagled, by yesterday's shadows, today's insipidity, and tomorrow's doom. at night, lanterns which slowly fade are darkness' only opponent; though at least i'm guided to the next day, my hand held firmly in place i'm stuck here. junk though it may be, i've lingered too long to move on, so even if it rusts away, i'll stay right here, just like today.
through a deep haze, the moon rose, and then vanished. when i was lost, we drew nearer. now i've found my destiny, it's clear we're not harmonised, so i must continue cutting off cherished ties. photos in my mind with dulled hues, their nostalgia stings. now i've departed, solitude by my side. my smile is subdued, i've appreciated you; my eyes are sealed, recgonition that we must unfold. i'm lost once more, in vague semblences of emotion.